With Ryan Kiedrowski

Here’s a quick tip for all those elementary school students out there that are currently dealing with a bully: get used to it. Speaking as a former kid that was a target of bullies, I can safely say those jerks just grow older and pick on adults all the same. The only difference is how one reacts to a bully.
I have worked in the newspaper industry through various markets in Saskatchewan and Alberta and have found that for the most part, competing products within those markets enjoy friendly competition. That is to say that when reporters of two different products (be it newspaper, radio, Internet publication) meet up in the same place, one can make a little small talk and get along. Yes, there’s a job to be done, but a certain level of civility can be assured.
Like I said – for the most part.
The exception to the rule for me came when I moved out west yet again to that supposed ‘have’ province of Oilberta. Granted, I knew what kind of schoolyard atmosphere I was about to encounter, but the antics still make one shake their head. The place I worked for had been in the community just under 15 years while another product in the market just celebrated its centennial. Older did not equate to wiser as it seemed our competition devoted every waking hour attempting to sabotage any sort of foothold the product I worked for achieved.
The end result? Yes, they looked stupid. However, at times, a rebuttal was unavoidable and as a well-respected friend of mine pointed out, ‘when you wrestle with a pig, you will get dirty – and the pig likes it.’
It’s hard to hold your head up high when a bully natters away at you like a pesky little bug, even harder when these numbskulls become adults and use the weight of their business to enact their vile plans. Fortunately, most people see these silly schemes for what they are, and my motto has always been to focus energy on developing my own talents and not worry about what ‘the other guy’ has to say about it. Obviously, if my accomplishments are driving them to take such drastic measures, my work must be a marked improvement over what they are producing.
Bullies by nature are cowards. Driven by deep-seated feelings of insecurity and inadequacy, they get their jollies out of trying to dominate those they see as ‘beneath’ them. In fact, their targets are the bully’s superior.
In business, bullies often believe that their social standing or company name will be enough to protect them, but they are not immune form the justice system and can be sued by their victims. Kind of levels the playing field from the schoolyard days of yesteryear, now doesn’t it?
No matter if you’re 13 or 31, bullies abound and taking a backseat to their tantrums is the best bet. Let them get worked up, make their claims, but do not sink to their level and react. Know that you are the bigger person here, and focus on doing your personal best.
There is another group to be considered here – the sheep. Just as a bully on the playground targets a victim, the crowd of third party onlookers watch the scene unfold. Using the analogy of the newspaper I worked at, the third party here was the general public. By attempting to humiliate my place of business through character assassination and threats to our advertisers and readers, the bully truly showed their perceived lack of control – and their dislike of it. Sometimes it worked – there were sheep who followed the bully for fear of becoming a victim themselves. Fortunately, there were also those who stood their ground and continued to advertise with our product (in some cases, they did so more to spite the bully).
Another tidbit I picked up from a coffee-row prophet was not to let the bully live ‘rent free in your head.’ Doing so will drive you crazy, and the bully will have won the war. On the same note, not reacting in the way the bully expects will have you taking up residence in their mind, driving them to madness with plotting how to ruin you.
Yes, it is silly, and I for one have no time for people who believe bullying is the answer. But, as I stated above, it is an unavoidable fact of life that these anger-eating dragons will pop up from time to time. The acid test here boils down to one simple choice – do I want to live free and happy or in constant fear of what the bully will do?
I choose freedom, given that we live in a democracy. I also choose to stand up to the bullies in my life through not responding to their childish tactics and when confronted by them, being as kind as possible to the offending ogre. Bullies hate kindness – it’s the ultimate fly in their ointment.