Toronto Mayor Rob Ford Fights for his Position with a Mighty Shoulder Shrug

September 4, 2012
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TORONTO (TheBadgerCA) – In a move that has shocked political analysts in Toronto and abroad, Toronto mayor Rob Ford announced with strong authority his move to counter allegations of using his position as Mayor in a conflict of interest scandal.  Sources say they have been astounded by the mayor’s game of political chess that just may save his job and show the people of Toronto, as one source described, “what the mayor of Toronto truly is willing to fight for!”

Mayor Robert Ford: Our Next Churchill

The conflict of interest case states that Ford broke provincial law by speaking and voting on a floor motion stating that he should have to reimburse over $3000 in donations to his football foundation.With a very public scandal in the works, Ford put forth the following statement.  Mustering the political power and drive to survive so many political heroes before him used, the press looked forward to a statement not unlike the likes of Churchill, Roosevelt, or Obama.  Clearing his throat, Ford shrugged his mighty shoulders, holding up to that point the weight of his political career and stated “If I lose the court case I guess I lose my job”.Women were seen to weep at the stoic and sombre words, men released single tears, all the while the mayor continued in words that will remain as famous as Chamberlain’s words, “I have in my hand a piece of paper”.  Said the mayor showing the true essence of his character, “I don’t know, it really bothers me, it really bothers me”.

The city holds its collective breath awaiting a response from the prosecutors.

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