Three Italians Killed Over Topless Kate Photos

September 17, 2012
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Murderous British outrage directed at Italians over topless photos of Kate Middleton

LONDON (@TheBadgerCa) – A mob of angry men wearing Team England jerseys has stormed the Italian embassy in London, setting it on fire and calling for “death to Italians everywhere.” Three Italians staffers were killed while trying to return from their extended lunch break.

The blind British rage has been directed at Italians in Britain ever since late last week, when a French tabloid owned by Italy’s ex-prime minister Silvio Berlusconi published topless photos of the Duchess of Cambridge.

Gossip rags in Ireland and Italy have since followed suit, publishing the out-of-focus semi-nude snapshots of Kate Middleton, sparking fears of further deadly clashes.

So far, the publication of these blurry photos is being blamed for the deaths of 11 people and four Frenchmen in Europe, prompting Italy to close its embassies in the UK, France and Ireland.

Naked images of the royals are prohibited under British Anglican law. In the UK, Hans Christian Andersen’s short tale ‘The Emperor’s New Clothes’ remains banned for its depiction of “nobility in states of undress.”

Meantime, the British royal family is pursuing legal action against Mr. Berlusconi, who is already facing multiple proceedings in Italy for a litany of charges including soliciting minors for sex, abuse of office, and soliciting minors to abuse in his office.

The Badger attempted to reach the Italian media tycoon for comment but only received this response from his lawyer: “Unfortunately, Mr. Berlusconi is not accepting lawsuits against him at this time. Sorry for any inconvenience this may cause you or your daughters.”

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