Replacement NFL Referees Excited at Prospect of Learning Rules of Football

September 26, 2012

New NFL Hires Get Hold of a Rule Book

NEW YORK (TheBadgerCA) – With the NFL referee’s strike continuing this week, a fresh troupe of replacement referees are “excited beyond words” about the prospect of hitting the football fields for the next week of officiating.  Moreover, the majority of the replacement referees are equally eager to learn the rules to NFL football.

“I don’t think that I’m that far off, to be honest” says Tyler Morgan, a supply teacher from Poughkeepsie, NY who was as surprised as any to get the call.  “I had no idea that I was on a list or anything to come in and do the refereeing.  When they called me, I asked as to why I was being called.  It seems that whey you apply for one of the Bank of America credit cards at games, this sort of thing is in the “Terms and Conditions”.  Really, I just wanted a Giants hoodie, and I got that and this.”  Hooded sweatshirt or not, Morgan says he’s ready for the task.

“I’ve been playing against my son on ‘Madden NFL 2002’, but I’ve been focusing on what the referee is doing for the most part.  I’ve got notes on ‘Offside’ and ‘Passer Interference’.  Admittedly, it’s an old version of ‘Madden’ but it’s all we had handy.  I’m sure they haven’t changed the rules that much in 10 years.  To be honest, I’m a little nervous about being the enforcer of all the rules, but I’m sure people will let me know about them as we go along.  When I’m supply teaching I try to create a collaborative and cooperative environment, so I think I’ll be able to do the same here.”

Leonard Skall was also called up earlier this week and asked to come in for the orientation training session for NFL referees.  Skall, a Franklin, New Jersey sporting goods store manager already has experience in refereeing but still has concerns.

Says Skall, “I coach my little girl’s soccer team and on off-weeks each coach has to referee.  But this?  This is way different.  When we referee the Under-7s games, our job is to ensure that no one gets hurt, make calls so that everyone gets a goal, and to allow substitutions when someone has to go to the bathroom.  To be honest, I have no idea how the NFL got my name.  I’m pretty much crapping it right now.”

Cesar Nunez, a line cook at a local T.G.I. Friday’s who also got the call-up has other concerns.

“Esto es una chorrada. Nunca he pedido esto. No conozco nada de este juego. Si acepto, ¿qué pasa aquí? Señor Fitz conseguirá loca me dejando la cocina para ir a árbitro y le dice a inmigración y me mandan a Guadalajara. Ha chivado en tres lavavajillas este año ya. Si voy a árbitro que va a hacer lo mismo. Si no voy, la NFL llama. Yo estoy jodido. Este tipo de fútbol es un deporte de maricón de todas formas.”

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