Monthly Archives: October 2012

People Already Sick of Co-Worker’s Jokes about His Ex Named ‘Sandy’

October 30, 2012
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People Already Sick of Co-Worker’s Jokes about His Ex Named ‘Sandy’

PROVIDENCE, RI (TheBadgerCA) – Workers in the Palmerston Street branch of US Bank have been placed on high alert since the warning that the eastern coast of the United States would be battered by Hurricane Sandy.  Tensions already running high as many thought of their own safety and that of their families, it was not…

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The Hague Issues Warrant for Gary Glitter

October 29, 2012
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The Hague Issues Warrant for Gary Glitter

  LONDON (TheBadgerCA) – Convicted sex offender and glam rocker Gary Glitter has found himself in deep trouble again. When authorities picked up the “Leader of the Gang” on suspicion of sex offences in relation to Britain’s Jimmy Savile sex abuse probe they were shocked by what they found. A mountain of evidence was discovered…

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Toronto Maple Leafs Happy with Undefeated Season

October 26, 2012
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Toronto Maple Leafs Happy with Undefeated Season

TORONTO (TheBadgerCA) – Today, a smile crept across the face of Brian Burke, General Manager of the Toronto Maple Leafs.  A quick glance at the paper told him that so far this year, the Leafs have not registered a single loss so far.  Burke was beside himself with joy. “To be this far into October,…

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Bill Gates Offers Donald Trump $5B for Proof He’s Not an Utter Asshole

October 24, 2012
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Bill Gates Offers Donald Trump $5B for Proof He’s Not an Utter Asshole

SEATTLE, WA (TheBadgerCA) – Following Donald Trump’s $5M challenge, Microsoft’s co-founder Bill Gates has countered with another offer.  Today, Donald Trump offered $5M to a charity of President Obama’s choice as long as Obama brought forward his passport and college records.  Today, a counter offer was offered by Bill Gates, offering real estate magnate Trump…

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Bayonet Makers Up In Arms following Obama’s Debate ‘Belittling’

October 23, 2012
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Bayonet Makers Up In Arms following Obama’s Debate ‘Belittling’

ANN ARBOR, MI (TheBadgerCA) – Steve Canner is not a happy man following last night’s final presidential debate.  Coming into last night’s debate, Canner was undecided as to which of the two presidential hopeful he would vote for.  That indecision ended once President Obama rebuked a comment from Romney about Romney’s proposed injection of funding…

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Romney Seals Ineligible Teenage Boy Vote with ‘Binder of Women’ Comment

October 17, 2012
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HEMPSTEAD, NEW YORK (TheBadgerCA) – After last night’s debate, Republican hopeful Mitt Romney leapt ahead in the ineligible Teenage Boy demographic with his “Binder of Women” vote. A poll of young and soon-to-be voters revealed that though teenage girls and those just turning the legal voting age of 18 lean towards incumbent president Barack Obama,…

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Obama to Save Celebration Drinks Until After Debate

October 16, 2012
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Obama to Save Celebration Drinks Until After Debate

WASHINGTON, DC (TheBadgerCA) – With points scored by his Vice President Joe Biden against candidate Paul Ryan, President Barack Obama has said he has learned from his first debate against Republican leader Mitt Romney some valuable lessons.  The most glaring lesson the president has taken is to save the celebration drinks until the debate has…

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Ontario Premier Resigns Proroguing the Government, Whatever the Hell That Means

October 16, 2012
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Ontario Premier Resigns Proroguing the Government, Whatever the Hell That Means

TORONTO, ON (TheBadgerCA) – In a move that shocked Ontarians and provincial politicians alike, Premier Dalton McGuinty announced he would be stepping down as leader of the Ontario Liberal Party leader which is a move that prorogues the Ontario government, whatever the hell may mean. By stepping down as leader and sitting premier of the…

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Mountain Dew Totally Should Have Sponsored That Jump Guy

October 15, 2012
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Mountain Dew Totally Should Have Sponsored That Jump Guy

PURCHASE, NY (TheBadgerCA) – The day following the historic space jump by Felix Baumgartner where he jumped 127,000 feet from the edge of space is a day of rueing for the promotions team at Mountain Dew.  The jump by Baumgartner was sponsored by Red Bull Stratos and this has the Mountain Dew marketing team, proponents…

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Rob Ford Gives Up All Pretenses of Even Trying

October 10, 2012
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Rob Ford Gives Up All Pretenses of Even Trying

TORONTO (TheBadgerCA) – Sources close to Rob Ford have indicated that the Toronto mayor appears to have given up trying to do his job in any regard.  Previous Toronto mayors have embraced the position with the vitality and privilege that the position requires, but many are surprised by Ford’s fresh take on performing the job…

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