Aides Concerned that Romney Says He “Is Ready for Debate” and “Concentrating on ‘Zingers’”

October 2, 2012

Romney: “No respect, no respect…”

DENVER, CO (TheBadgerCA) – As the first Presidential debate approaches Wednesday evening, Mitt Romney pores over his own hand-written notes as readies for his appearance against incumbent President Barack Obama.  Romney smiles as he reads his notes, brimming with confidence, and states “Oh, I’m ready for this.  It’s on.”  And this is concerning to Team Romney.“We are quite anxious about what may happen on the night” said Valerie Cooper, a press aide and strategist for the Republicans.  “Word has it that Obama has been actively engaging his team, finding out how he’s trending, what demographics are key to his success, and targeting them with his responses to reach out to them.  Mitt, well, he seems to focus on the one note that he’s not good with countering with ‘zingers’.  So that’s what he’s been practicing.  And it’s the only thing he’s practicing.”

Sources state that Romney, for two consecutive nights, has locked himself in his hotel room at the end of each day for what he calls “research”.

Brian Lassley, key strategist for Romney does not see this as helpful.  “I’m pretty when I walked by the room I overheard ‘Comedy Central’ roasts.  I know some people like to wind down at the end of the night with something funny, but I’m pretty sure I heard the words ‘Oh, I got to remember that one.’  It’s a concern.”

The Republican’s practice debate had to be stopped in progress several times as speech writers continually had issues with Romney’s responses to economic policy.  Josh Samuels, one of Romney’s writers shook his head.

“Even after we told him not to do it, repeatedly, Romney’s answer to the economy question we staged was ‘What has two thumbs and messed up the economy?  That guy!’  The issue is that Romney keeps pointing to himself.  Every time.  We have to stop this.”

It appears it is not just the key strategists that are worried about their candidate on the big night.  Said Carlie Johnston, and intern in Camp Romney, “I was walking past his dressing room at one point, and I’m pretty sure I heard an ‘Oooooooooh, snap!’”

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