Barack Obama, Victim of Pasting
DENVER, CO (TheBadgerCA) – What was supposed to be a night of celebration and validation for the President turned to be a two-fold disaster. Initially, Obama thought the worst was over, as it is perceived that he lost the debate soundly to hopeful Mitt Romney. However, what the evening held in store for the two-term hopeful was much worse.Secret police are currently on high alert now as an unknown vandal is alleged to have somehow gotten past the hotel security and left a thick brown paste in the bed of the President unbeknownst to him. Obama awoke in the night to the screams of his wife Michelle wondering how this could have happened.
“We’re looking for the assailant now, but nothing is showing up on the hotel security tape. Whoever got in and smeared the President with that brown paste, well, he’s clever”, said Carl Southland, head of the Presidential Security Dispatch for the debates.
“I honestly don’t know how it’s possible. There’s nothing on the camera, no sign of forced entry from the locked doors or windows. Just a brown paste smeared all over the President’s midriff that, I’ll tell you, smells to high Heaven. I don’t know what the paste is, but it sure stinks. It’s like nothing I’ve ever smelled before. And why put it in President Obama’s bed? That’s the weirdest part of all. If he felt bad about how the debate went before this happened, well, I imagine this makes it a heck of a lot worse.”
Samples of the brown paste have been taken to a local Denver police lab for forensic testing.