Mountain Dew Totally Should Have Sponsored That Jump Guy

October 15, 2012

PURCHASE, NY (TheBadgerCA) – The day following the historic space jump by Felix Baumgartner where he jumped 127,000 feet from the edge of space is a day of rueing for the promotions team at Mountain Dew.  The jump by Baumgartner was sponsored by Red Bull Stratos and this has the Mountain Dew marketing team, proponents of an “extreme” and “edgy” lifestyle aligning with their soft drink brand, up in arms.

A fantastic opportunity drops quickly away for the publicity team at Mountain Dew

Travis Day, Mountain Dew Director of “Getting-The-Word-Out”, was irate with the missed opportunity.  “This is complete bullshit.  We’re the ones who put on the sick promos for X-Treme biking, X-Treme boarding, and then the jacktards at Red Bull get this guy?  Who passed up on him?  If we find out who skipped on this dropper, he is getting shit-canned. Totes.”Josh Lewis, Mountain Dew Junior Vice-President of “Siiiiiiick!” was equally disappointed by the missed sponsorship opportunity.  “If anyone had the opp to post this dude and they said ‘Nopes’, he’s going to be having a balls salad.  This is like blumpkin.  Travis came over to my pod and he was like ‘You totally are going to get balled on this.  This is sick.’  And I was like, ‘Like, good sick?’ And he was like ‘Like no, like bad sick.’ And then I saw on reddit what was happening and then I was like ‘This chews.’ And Travis was like ‘Totes.’”

If you support freedom of misinformation, please sign up to our mailing list

The Badger News

Error: Twitter did not respond. Please wait a few minutes and refresh this page.