Obama to Save Celebration Drinks Until After Debate

October 16, 2012

WASHINGTON, DC (TheBadgerCA) – With points scored by his Vice President Joe Biden against candidate Paul Ryan, President Barack Obama has said he has learned from his first debate against Republican leader Mitt Romney some valuable lessons.  The most glaring lesson the president has taken is to save the celebration drinks until the debate has been concluded.

“Hey, you feeling it?”

Said President Obama in a press conference today, “I have told my staff that they will not be able to give me any of my homebrewed ‘El Prez Pilsner’ until I am done the debate.  Last time I had it all over the green room so I’d be damned if I wasn’t going to have some of that.  I thought it would loosen me up.  Looks like too much.  I am not cracking one of those things until I am done, done, and done.”Michael Dwyer, an Obama aide, helped provide some context from the previous debate.

“Let’s be fair to the president.  Previously to the last debate, his only debate was against George W. Bush.  It’s hardly fair to compare, it was a bit of a cakewalk.  The president is not used to debating the literate.”

In addition to this, all in the Obama family have been assisting the president with preparations for tonight’s debate.  Daughters Malia Obama and Sasha Obama have been told to be quiet around the White House, and wife Michelle is not engaging in sex with the president until well into Wednesday just to be sure.

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