Monthly Archives: October 2012

Canada Orders Beefeater Gin Off Shelves Amid E. Coli Scare

October 5, 2012
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Canada Orders Beefeater Gin Off Shelves Amid E. Coli Scare

In a move of extraordinary caution amid a nationwide E. coli outbreak in meat products, Canada’s Agriculture Minister Gerry Ritz has ordered all bottles of Beefeater Gin to be removed from the shelves and stockrooms of all stores, effective immediately. Facing a grilling from opposition and the public, Ritz, a known gin drinker, explained, “It’s…

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President Awakes to Find Intruder Left Brown Paste in His Hotel Bed

October 4, 2012
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President Awakes to Find Intruder Left Brown Paste in His Hotel Bed

DENVER, CO (TheBadgerCA) – What was supposed to be a night of celebration and validation for the President turned to be a two-fold disaster.  Initially, Obama thought the worst was over, as it is perceived that he lost the debate soundly to hopeful Mitt Romney.  However, what the evening held in store for the two-term…

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Romney’s Mormon Roots Wins Debate, Uses “Secret Box of ‘Things’” Strategy

October 4, 2012
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Romney’s Mormon Roots Wins Debate, Uses “Secret Box of ‘Things’” Strategy

DENVER, CO (TheBadgerCA) – As the lights went out on the stage at the University of Denver, the Republican team fronted by Mitt Romney could not be happier with the result.  As the presidential hopeful left the building, he could not help but appear buoyed by the fact that the night’s debate fell in his…

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Aides Concerned that Romney Says He “Is Ready for Debate” and “Concentrating on ‘Zingers’”

October 2, 2012
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Aides Concerned that Romney Says He “Is Ready for Debate” and “Concentrating on ‘Zingers’”

DENVER, CO (TheBadgerCA) – As the first Presidential debate approaches Wednesday evening, Mitt Romney pores over his own hand-written notes as readies for his appearance against incumbent President Barack Obama.  Romney smiles as he reads his notes, brimming with confidence, and states “Oh, I’m ready for this.  It’s on.”  And this is concerning to Team…

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Justin Bieber Stage Show Angers Mothers Concerned with Bulimia

October 1, 2012
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Justin Bieber Stage Show Angers Mothers Concerned with Bulimia

GLENDALE, AZ – (TheBadgerCA) – Justin Bieber’s most recent performance in Glandale, Arizona’s Jobing.com Arena elicited the usual screams and support from his fans despite having to fight through two bouts of nausea that forced him to pause the show.  Following his on-stage sickness where Bieber vomited during songs, he returned to his adoring fans,…

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