Guy Working Out in Five-Finger Shoes and Wool Cap Brings Much Needed Awesomeness to Local Gym

November 16, 2012

TORONTO, ON (TheBadgerCA) – Members of the Liberty Village location of GoodLife Fitness today noted that until Josh Malcolm showed up for his twice-weekly workout, their gym felt very drab and awful.  Upon Josh’s arrival, things at the gym dramatically improved.

Malcolm, 27, strode into the main gym from the change room in plaid Bermuda shorts, and a black muscle shirt.  Accompanying his garb was a wool cap with the words “Tap Out” knitted into the fabric pattern, and on his feet, a pair of Vibram FiveFingers shoes.  At this point, the gym was suddenly bathed in awesomeness.

In order to bathe every corner in much needed “Awesome” and “Siiiiick!”, Malcolm spent the majority of his time walking around the gym all the while listening to Dubstep, specifically Skrillex, the only artist that Malcolm knows in the genre.  Many at the gym were impressed with Malcolm’s commitment to improving the feel of the gym.

“When he’s here, you can feel the vibe that he’s bringing a positive energy”, said Tyra Little, 22, a part-time yoga instructor, life coach, and barista at a Queen Street Starbucks.  “He’s so hot, and the combination of the toque and the wife beater?  Yum.  I totally want to hook up with him.”

Others were not so convinced of the positivity that Malcolm provides.  One such opinion is held by Travis Shaw, a 32 year old business analyst. “I see him here pretty much twice a week.  He walks around, does one set, and then walks around again.  He totally hogs the equipment because he’s too busy walking around being an utter douchebag than working out.  I think he’s the same guy that leaves his one jacket in the biggest locker so that people with actual gym bags can’t use it.  And the shoes?  They look utterly stupid.”

Clara Reid, a staff member at the gym holds no opinion either way.  “He comes in here, he works out.  I don’t care, really.  I’m nice to him and all but I do that with everyone here.  I saw him once outside of the gym.  He was working as a bartender at a Casey’s and was getting yelled at by the day manager.  Not sure if he still works there, though.”

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