Local Man Buys the Wrong Goddamn Brand of Paper Towel

November 29, 2012

“Here’s your precious ‘Brawn’, you princess!”

TORONTO, ON (TheBadgerCA) – David Ketchum, 38, returned to his Leeside home from what seemed a usual grocery trip at a local Sobey’s to discover to his horror that he bought the wrong goddamn brand of paper towel.  The incident was brought to his attention by his wife Lydia Driscoll-Ketchum who greeted him at the door announcing the huge fucking ordeal.

Ketchum was unaware that a mistake was made and maintains innocence.  “I go to the goddamn store every fucking time and I’m positive that I bought these towels before without getting beaked at as soon as I get in the fucking door.  Seriously, what is the big problem here?  It wipes counters and cleans up the piss when our 14-year-old Basset Hound decides to lose it in the dining room.  It was on sale, end of story.”

Driscoll-Ketchum maintains that the mistake should not have been made.  “I’ve told Dave at least 10 times in the past month that the generic green-brand towels aren’t absorbent and don’t work as well.  And they leave streaks on the glass panel of the china cabinet.  But I don’t know what happened.  I mentioned it and he freaked out.”

After further heated discussion, Ketchum stormed from the house, peeling out of the driveway in the family’s Toyota RAV4 and returned to the Sobey’s in order to exchange the paper towels for the desired brand.  Upon returning to the home, he dropped the paper towels on the kitchen counter and slammed the door of the family den, remaining there for the better part of the afternoon.

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