NHL, NHLPA and Team Canada Successful in ‘Hockey Apathy’ Operation

January 3, 2013
By

Hockey Apathy operation nears completion.

TORONTO, ON (TheBadgerCA) – With the crushing defeat of Team Canada against the USA in the World Junior Hockey Championship that saw Canada embarrassed by a 5-1 loss today, a three-way cooperation neared completion between the NHL, NHLPA and Team Canada.

The ongoing stalling of the NHL season that sees league commissioner Gary Bettman masterminding a collective bargaining stalemate with the NHLPA that has dragged on for months, risking a termination of this year’s season before it starts.  With the Team Canada loss, the operation to make people not care at all about hockey at all seems near complete.

Gary Bettman: The man behind it all

Following the loss today, local sports bars seemed numbed.  Brad McKechern, owner and manager of local sports bar “The Penalty Box” explained, “Yeah, that’s pretty much it.  Team Canada going for Bronze, well, you might as well give them a participant ribbon.  That’s pretty much it for hockey this year.  My customers have been coming in asking for golf to be turned on, which is just unbelievable.  We’ve never had that on.  Ever.  This past Saturday night, normally the time that we’d have ‘Hockey Night in Canada’ on, this place would be mobbed, people eating, drinking.  Now, this past Saturday, I had three guys come in asking for soccer highlights.  I had to go out back and cry.  It’s pathetic.”

Stu Bennett, a local hockey fan sat at the bar of McKechern’s bar, said he’d fill the gap in his life somehow with his newfound apathy towards hockey.  “Well, the wife has me going over to the neighbours for board game nights now on Saturday.  And when we’re not doing that, I’m trying to figure out the rules to basketball.  That seems fun, maybe.”

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