Assad Declared 2012 ‘International Prick of the Year’

January 4, 2013

‘Syrial’ Killer Bashar Assad smiles for the cameras after learning he was voted 2012 International Prick of the Year

HELSINKI (@TheBadgerCA) – It came down to two candidates. In the end, Syrian president Bashar Assad narrowly beat NHL commissioner Gary Bettman as the 2012 ‘International Prick of the Year.’

Often called the opposite of the Nobel Peace Prize, the ‘International Prick of the Year’ distinction is designated annually to the nastiest male or female public figure. Past winners include mouthy American millionaire Donald Trump, Italian playboy and former prime minister Silvio Berlusconi, and Hollywood actor Charlie Sheen.

The Syrian strongman has good reason for being considered the world’s most wicked man in 2012.

“Assad really puts the ‘Ass’ in ‘dictator,’” says expert Brendan O’Malley. “Right now, no other ruler is demonstrating this level of commitment to brutality. Assad’s murderous pleasures are almost masturbatory.”

Assad out-pricked an iron fistful of other worthy assholes including NHL commissioner and troll Gary Bettman, cyclist and blatant liar Lance Armstrong, and one-woman train wreck Lindsay Lohan.

The freakishly tall autocrat took over the family dictatorship business in 2000 after the death of his dastardly father, Hafez Assad, and now exercises absolute control over a dispirited Syrian population that dwindles by the day.

The United Nations estimates that if people continue to get killed at the current rate in Syria’s civil war, the country will be empty by the end of the year, save for Assad and his inner circle.

Former ‘Prick of the Year’ Vladimir Putin congratulates Bashar Assad for buying so much Russian artillery

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

If you support freedom of misinformation, please sign up to our mailing list

The Badger News

Error: Twitter did not respond. Please wait a few minutes and refresh this page.