Anonymous Claim Responsibility for Hacking of Toronto Maple Leafs, Further Acts of ‘Sensibility’ to Follow

January 9, 2013
By

TORONTO, ON (TheBadgerCA) –  Internet policing society Anonymous have claimed responsibility of taking control of the entire Toronto Maple Leafs organization and putting in place something that it calls “The Age of Rational Thought”.

Anonymous: “This is the tip of the iceberg.”

A video statement from the vigilante online community, using a computer-animated voice, stated monotonically today that the organization “was frustrated with the incompetency and mismanagement of the Leafs.”  Continued the statement, “(Anonymous) refused to stand by as the most economically prosperous franchise in the NHL given life by the hard-earned dollars of its fans performed Enron-levels of ineptness allowing the organization to languish year after year.  Know this, we are not Leafs fans.  We hate the Leafs as we do all other sports organizations.  They are counterproductive to the betterment of society and hold those with superior physical ability in regard instead of disdain.  However, we can no longer stand by and allow the spending of the many go to provide profits for the few.

“You may have noticed a change in management today.  That was our doing.  We will continue to exact change appropriate to the amount of decay we find in the organization that has become a Palace of Incompetence.  We will not stop until there are in the Leafs organization capable goaltenders, players quick of reflex and inspiration, and coaches familiar to the concept of a “forecheck”.

If you are a corporate platinum ticket owner, fat from the bounty of the clubhouse buffet and unfamiliar with the exact location of your seat, fear not.  Your seat will be relinquished from you and put into the hands of those much more deserving of the enjoyment.  Bid this and your claim on the game farewell in the coming days.”

Anonymous also noted that they would not stop merely with the Leafs but the league as a whole.

“We have been quiet.  We have been observant.  And we will not stand by allowing your parent organization to while away the time at the expense of others.  Over 100 days of lockouts have cost untold hardship to those dependent on the game of hockey for their livelihoods.  Every parking lot attendant, every arena security guard, every snack bar server will be avenged for the disgrace that was 100 Days of Disservice.  Gary Bettman, Donald Fehr, do not in any way consider this a warning.  It is a solemn promise. We will not stop until every penny owed to those that suffered at your hands has been repaid from you personally. Consider your off-shore accounts to be safely in our hands to be used at our discretion.”

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