Young CEO Unsure of Which Hoodie to Wear for Massive Layoffs

January 16, 2013
By

LOS ALTOS HILLS, CA (TheBadgerCA) – Dylan Kopp, 31, normally dressed himself without issue.  As CEO of internet start-up Snaplr, the social networking site that allows users to upload photos of restaurant food they are eating and rate and comment directly, he would usually dress very casually as per the culture of his business.

Today, however, Kopp paused and pondered which of his trademark hoodies he would wear to the office for a day that would see him directing huge company-wide layoffs of over 70% of the Snaplr staff.  The layoffs are to occur across all departments due to a plummeting market share and decreased user numbers based on increases in usage of directly competing platforms such as Yelp and Instagram.

The Final Decision for Kopp

Said Kopp, “This is a big day, a sad day, and I’m not sure which of the hoodies is sombre enough to portray the sad feeling I’m going to have as I fire so many people.  I always wear one, and if I just showed up without one, people would know something’s up.  I may have to see some of them personally, or catch them as they come out of the HR Lady’s office, but it’s a bummer.  And I need to wear something that’s going to say ‘Yeah…bummer.’”

Steve Littler, 46, a software developer for Snaplr who was not fortunate enough to keep his job did not seem to notice Kopp’s eventual choice of a black hoodie.  “That he spent time wondering about which hoodie to wear is both equal parts hilarious and sad.  That alone tells me why this is happening today.  He probably felt this was the ‘Angel of Death’ look, or ‘Funeral’ or something.  (The) Guy’s an idiot.”

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