Glorious Victory Finally Arrives for Set-Upon, Bullied, Trust Fund Millionaire Bully

January 25, 2013

TORONTO, ON (TheBadgerCA) – The wheels of Justice turned today and stopped on a decision that would keep the wrongly harassed leader of Canada’s largest city in the mayor’s chair.  Today, Rob Ford learned with the rest of Toronto that his appeal had been held, a move that brought to conclusion the wrongful vilification of Toronto’s misunderstood, innocent and accommodating trust-fund millionaire.

Six more years! Six more years!

Said Ford in a statement following the decision announcement, “This is not only a victory for me, but it’s also a victory for Toronto, justice, democracy, the free world, and pretty much Canada as a whole.  I’d even say it’s bigger than the Obama (re-election).”

The amount of wrongfully directed torture and abuse that Ford (who had done nothing wrong in his entire term) endured ends today with the decision.  Ford remained upbeat.  “There were a lot of people who were mean to me.  The cyclists, the pedestrians, single moms, the gays…a lot of the gays…people taking transit, environmentalists, hippies, people who sit around in parks, motorists, readers, university graduates, the elderly, pet owners, immigrants, that jerk behind the counter that cut me off from beer at the Leafs game, they’re all a bit red-faced today, and I’m going to use my power in office to get back at them.  That you can guarantee.  We got six more years to go of this [sic].”

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