Toronto Braces for ‘The Big Storm’, Mocking from Rest of Country

February 8, 2013

TORONTO, ON (TheBadgerCA) – Toronto is currently in the middle of a snowstorm with blowing snow that has hampered driving visibility, closed schools and delayed or cancelled flights.  Streets remain unplowed and workers will be continuing well into the weekend to get all thoroughfares cleared of snow.  Many citizens have shovelled their walks two to three times today already with little or no relief in immediate site.

Rest of Canada: “Oh, poor baby…”

As Toronto prepares for the next day of continued snow with an estimated 30 cm of accumulation, it is also readying itself for the onslaught of mocking that will come from all other parts of Canada.

Dwayne Fergus, 27, of Moncton, NB stated, “Yeah, I’m sure their hipsters are trying to find a way to put snow tires on their fixed gear bikes.  When’s the army coming?”

Alison Turner, 43 of Saskatoon, SK also weighed in, stating “30 centimeters?  Yeah, we have a word for that type of snowfall out here.  Spring!  I suppose the army is on its way.”

The consistent army references in the cross-Canada ridicule of the Ontario capital dates back to a similar blizzard that hit the city in the winter of 1999 where, bereft of ideas, the then Toronto mayor Mel Lastman called in the Canadian army with little-to-no effect.

As the plows continue to clear Toronto’s streets, Torontonians will be warmed by the knowledge that the storm is expected to subside in the early hours of Saturday, and the mocking of their city’s continued inability to elect an official that can handle basic civic tasks will most likely end mid-next week.

Officials from the office of Toronto mayor Rob Ford had no statement as to the request for the services of the militia as Ford was unavailable in his office, taking “a snow day”.

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