Steadfast Jehovah’s Witnesses Aren’t Announcing a New Stinking Anything

March 12, 2013
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Watchtower Society: “We’re not changing a goshdarn thing!”

BROOKLYN, NY (TheBadgerCA) – With the quest for a new leader of the Catholic Church in full swing and all eyes on The Vatican as a new Pope is being selected, other mainstream religions are feeling the neglect of attention and appear to be ignored. David Splane, member of the Governing Body of Jehovah’s Witnesses remained resolute that their church would not be doing anything “showy” to garner attention.

Said Splane, “This whole Pope thing just smacks of a publicity stunt. They just had a whole thing about this when the other guy died. Now they go through this again? Why not give other religions a chance, for Pete’s sake? You can forget us getting into this. There’s no way we’re going to jump at the bait.  We’re not announcing any new board members, governors, editor of “The Watchtower”, nothing.

Other religions were not so quick to dismiss their inactivity for publicity. At the same time as the discussions of the conclave were being held, the Jesus is Lord Churches centred in the Philippines would select their new leader with an Adobo cookoff, where the Seven Day Adventists announced they would hold a “Sexiest Female Minister” contest.

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