TORONTO, CANADA (TheBadgerCA) – Baseball analysts around North America are now throwing their hands in the air following last night’s game that saw the Blue Jays, odds on favourites for this year, fall to the Cleveland Indians in a 4-1 decision at Rogers Centre last night.
Dawson Tyler, a writer for Canadian sports channel TSN was distraught. “I don’t know what to believe now. All through the pre-season, all the acquisitions that Toronto made, everyone said that they were going to take this year easily. I wrote it myself. It was on our website and everything. Now, now I don’t know what to believe. Do I dare say Chicago are going to take the Stanley Cup this year? I did! Now I don’t know what to say. I’m at a loss.”
Fans and professionals alike were thrown into chaos, with activity on fantasy baseball pools seeing huge activity trying to empty rosters of seemingly leprous Toronto players. Larry Sheppard, 42 and member of six different fantasy baseball pools, frantically attempted to make trades today to no avail.
Said Sheppard, “This is worse than cancer. In all but one of my leagues, the rosters are locked down. This is despite my calls. I’ve left every moderator, like, five messages today pleading to get rid of these supposed ‘sure things’. This is utter and complete crap. My other league? I’m trying to offload Dickey (Toronto pitcher) and everyone is just replying ‘LMFAO’. No one will talk to me. This is bullshit.”