Gene Siskel Eager to Take Ebert to Task Over “Stepmom” Review After 14 Years

April 4, 2013
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KINGDOM OF HEAVEN (TheBadgerCA) – After a 14 year wait, Gene Siskel is anticipating the arrival of his former workmate Roger Ebert so that he can take him to task on his panning of “Stepmom”, describing it as a mistake as epic as Ebert’s review of the Vietnam war epic “Full Metal Jacket”. Sitting beside a half-foot tall pile of documents, Siskel looks forward to ambushing the new arrival into the Kingdom of Heaven Roger Ebert, his co-star of the film review show “At the Movies with Gene Siskel & Roger Ebert”.

“Get ready to suck it, jerk!”

Said Siskel just outside of New Admittance Clearance area, “I’ve been waiting a long time for this and I’m going to take him out. Julia Roberts. Susan Sarandon, Ed Harris. It doesn’t get better than that. And look at (director) Chris Columbus. He did “Home Alone I & II” as well as Mrs. Doubtfire. This is gold! I cannot wait for this.”

It is expected that Ebert, having passed away from a final fight with cancer earlier today, will clear processing within a couple of hours, where Siskel will be waiting.

“Sarandon and Harris won awards for their performances. It was remade in the Middle East and India. His review was crap.” Indicating the pile of documents beside him, “These are reviews from across the globe, studio notes, award lists, receipts showing it made three times its budget. Oh, he’s going down. Welcome to Heaven, asshole!”

 

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