Local Atheist-Vegan Can’t Decide How to Monopolize Conversation

June 7, 2013

Alicia Marcus, a torn woman

TORONTO, ON (TheBadgerCA) – Following a hectic week at work, it is not uncommon for many to partake in an early-evening Friday drink with co-workers to commiserate and discuss the week that was over a cold beverage. Employees of a local 3D animation software company did just that this past Friday at nearby watering hole Copper’s. Everyone readied themselves for the weekend and wound down after a stressful week with a drink. All except one.

Alicia Marcus, a 27-year old software developer, became troubled as she sat down with the collection of staff members from different departments. Marcus, both an atheist and a vegan, could not decide how to monopolize the conversation.

“I was truly at a loss. Normally I can wait until someone orders something like wings and that, and I can go straight to my ‘vegan’ stuff, but no one ate. Or if that’s not working, I can move to my atheism and talk about how organized religion is stupid, and you have to be dumb not to recognize science, and I just couldn’t decide. And these guys weren’t giving me the usual openings. I can usually count on someone saying ‘Thank Jesus that the week’s over” or something like that and get into it that way, but it sounds like everyone’s week was pretty okay. So, yeah. I don’t know where to go with this.”

Donald Brewer, 31, QA Specialist, was aware of Marcus’s want to direct conversation from previous such outings. “She usually harps on about being a vegan and how she’s wicked smart about being an atheist, so I typically hang with Sean (Linden, 32, QA Specialist) and talk hockey or something. We used to order food here, but with Alicia here, it’s best to wait so we can go to a pub or something after she’s gone or whatever.”

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