Area Anglophone Happy French Debate Had Nothing To Do With Him

September 25, 2015

Last night Danny Illins enjoyed Netflix instead.

SCARBOROUGH, ONTARIO (TheBadgerCA) – In the wake of last night’s French-language leader’s debate, Danny Illins, 34, was relieved to know that he did not have to follow a single word of it, since it was in French. Illins, a produce manager for a local grocery chain, was prepared to devote time in his busy schedule to watch the debate away from work. But when he discovered the debate was in French, the Anglophone breathed a sigh of relief, knowing that he’d get much of his valued time back while not watching the heated proceedings debating niqabs, the Senate and national security against ISIS.

Illins instead started watching the Netfilx series “Narcos” in lieu of watching the French-language spectacle. “I was all ready to go and watch the debate, as I have all of them up to this point. I like to stay informed, but it was great when I found out that it was going to be the French one. I’m out! They’re not going to speak in English so that means it really isn’t that important. So, yeah, pretty much a bonus.”

When told that one of the debate’s hot-button issues discussed was the wearing of niqabs during ceremonies, Illins laughed. “That’s even better. This whole thing affects, what, 1% of the attendees? And you can use eye-scans or fingerprints or whatever to protect someone’s religious freedoms? And they spent time on that? Yeah, so glad I started watching ‘Narcos’. It’s pretty wicked, and what I assumed the movie in ‘Entourage’ would have been but better. Yeah, I’m going to watch that over a bunch of guys yelling in French about ISIS and religion? No, thanks.”

When asked if he’d continue watching televised debates, Illins stated he looked forward to the next one in English.

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