Poll Reveals 87% of US Senators Tired of Pretending to Care About Gun Control

October 2, 2015
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WASHINGTON, DC (TheBadgerCA) – Following the latest mass shooting in the US, this time in an Oregon school leaving 10 dead, a poll  concludes that 87% of US senators are now tired and exhausted from pretending to care about gun control. With 294 mass shootings in the US this year, more than one per day, senators polled said they had grown weary from the repetition of caring about gun control when in reality, they could care less.

Two US Senators trying to find new words for ‘Sad Day for America”

Senator David Correy (R) said “Every day it seems there’s another shooting with another address from the President. They just bleed one into the other into the other. I mean, what are you going to do? You have to put on the sad face, and say ‘This is a sad day for America’ but we’re just phoning it in. Like we’re going to miss out on the NRA lobby pay-day. Not even close. But the acting takes it out of you.”

Senator Linda Travis (R) shares Correy’s sentiment and finds the feigning of interest a constant distraction. “You can’t get a moment’s piece. Every day I keep trying to de-fund Planned Parenthood and then you get word 10 are dead, 20, 30…You go in front of the cameras, send out sympathies, and then try to find 20 minutes at the end of the week to close abortion clinics. It’s maddening. Some days I wish they’d pass gun control legislation so that I don’t need to do these goddamned statements and hearings that go nowhere. But that’s just not going to happen.

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