US Congress “Totally Promise to Implement Gun Control After Next Mass Shooting”

December 2, 2015

Congress has a full plate but will get around to gun control when the next one happens. “Pinky-swear”.

SAN BERNADINO, CALIFORNIA (TheBadgerCA) – In the wake of the latest mass shooting in the US, 352 this year, the US Congress have decreed that they will move into action. The San Bernardino shooting today that has left at least 14 dead and 14 injured has spurred on Congress moving them into action, stating that they “totally promise to implement gun control after the next mass shooting, and we mean it this time.”

Congressman Mark Walker (N. Carolina – R) said in a statement today that “Congress as a whole sees today as a watershed moment with too many lives being lost at the hands of guns. This is why Congress promises to get some form of gun control going, and we mean it this time. We’ll do it right after the next mass shooting. There’s no point, really, of doing it now, because what if there’s not another shooting? We’d be wasting a lot of time, a lot of Congressmen’s time, a lot of tax payers money. It just doesn’t make sense. Maybe this one will be the last, God willing that it is. If that’s the case, no harm, no foul.

“What does make sense is if there is one more shooting, seriously the next one, we totally promise to put in gun control. Seriously, we just need a bit more time to deal with some other things we have going on. We’re totally swamped, but I promise when the next mass shooting, killing several American citizens happen, we’ll make this the next priority. Pinky swear.”


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