DETROIT, MICHIGAN (TheBadgerCA) – Following the GOP debate Thursday, a spokesperson for Donald Trump’s penis has stepped forward, releasing a statement that the penis does not wish to be part of the media circus that is following the Trump campaign and the Republican National Convention as a whole. Linda Disset, representing Trump’s member, read the statement at a press conference organized by the penis.
The statement read:
“It has come to my attention that I was mentioned, inadvertently or not, in the debate of the Republican presidential candidates last night. It is not my wish to be part of this campaign in any capacity. The fact that I am part of the body of one of the candidates, front-runner or not, is immaterial to my wish to be thrust into the spotlight. I play a very minor role, if any, in this campgain and wish my privacy to be respected. I am a small, humble penis and do not desire the scrutiny of the public upon me. Despite claims to the contrary, I am much more miniscule than average and as such do not want my image to be further agrandized. Please respect my wishes as a diminutive sexual organ and do not drag me into the circus this convention is fast becoming.
I thank you.”
Disset did not field any questions for the penis following the statement.