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Bayonet Makers Up In Arms following Obama’s Debate ‘Belittling’

October 23, 2012
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Bayonet Makers Up In Arms following Obama’s Debate ‘Belittling’

ANN ARBOR, MI (TheBadgerCA) – Steve Canner is not a happy man following last night’s final presidential debate.  Coming into last night’s debate, Canner was undecided as to which of the two presidential hopeful he would vote for.  That indecision ended once President Obama rebuked a comment from Romney about Romney’s proposed injection of funding…

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Romney Seals Ineligible Teenage Boy Vote with ‘Binder of Women’ Comment

October 17, 2012
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HEMPSTEAD, NEW YORK (TheBadgerCA) – After last night’s debate, Republican hopeful Mitt Romney leapt ahead in the ineligible Teenage Boy demographic with his “Binder of Women” vote. A poll of young and soon-to-be voters revealed that though teenage girls and those just turning the legal voting age of 18 lean towards incumbent president Barack Obama,…

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Obama to Save Celebration Drinks Until After Debate

October 16, 2012
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Obama to Save Celebration Drinks Until After Debate

WASHINGTON, DC (TheBadgerCA) – With points scored by his Vice President Joe Biden against candidate Paul Ryan, President Barack Obama has said he has learned from his first debate against Republican leader Mitt Romney some valuable lessons.  The most glaring lesson the president has taken is to save the celebration drinks until the debate has…

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Ontario Premier Resigns Proroguing the Government, Whatever the Hell That Means

October 16, 2012
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Ontario Premier Resigns Proroguing the Government, Whatever the Hell That Means

TORONTO, ON (TheBadgerCA) – In a move that shocked Ontarians and provincial politicians alike, Premier Dalton McGuinty announced he would be stepping down as leader of the Ontario Liberal Party leader which is a move that prorogues the Ontario government, whatever the hell may mean. By stepping down as leader and sitting premier of the…

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Mountain Dew Totally Should Have Sponsored That Jump Guy

October 15, 2012
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Mountain Dew Totally Should Have Sponsored That Jump Guy

PURCHASE, NY (TheBadgerCA) – The day following the historic space jump by Felix Baumgartner where he jumped 127,000 feet from the edge of space is a day of rueing for the promotions team at Mountain Dew.  The jump by Baumgartner was sponsored by Red Bull Stratos and this has the Mountain Dew marketing team, proponents…

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Rob Ford Gives Up All Pretenses of Even Trying

October 10, 2012
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Rob Ford Gives Up All Pretenses of Even Trying

TORONTO (TheBadgerCA) – Sources close to Rob Ford have indicated that the Toronto mayor appears to have given up trying to do his job in any regard.  Previous Toronto mayors have embraced the position with the vitality and privilege that the position requires, but many are surprised by Ford’s fresh take on performing the job…

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President Awakes to Find Intruder Left Brown Paste in His Hotel Bed

October 4, 2012
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President Awakes to Find Intruder Left Brown Paste in His Hotel Bed

DENVER, CO (TheBadgerCA) – What was supposed to be a night of celebration and validation for the President turned to be a two-fold disaster.  Initially, Obama thought the worst was over, as it is perceived that he lost the debate soundly to hopeful Mitt Romney.  However, what the evening held in store for the two-term…

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Romney’s Mormon Roots Wins Debate, Uses “Secret Box of ‘Things’” Strategy

October 4, 2012
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Romney’s Mormon Roots Wins Debate, Uses “Secret Box of ‘Things’” Strategy

DENVER, CO (TheBadgerCA) – As the lights went out on the stage at the University of Denver, the Republican team fronted by Mitt Romney could not be happier with the result.  As the presidential hopeful left the building, he could not help but appear buoyed by the fact that the night’s debate fell in his…

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Aides Concerned that Romney Says He “Is Ready for Debate” and “Concentrating on ‘Zingers’”

October 2, 2012
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Aides Concerned that Romney Says He “Is Ready for Debate” and “Concentrating on ‘Zingers’”

DENVER, CO (TheBadgerCA) – As the first Presidential debate approaches Wednesday evening, Mitt Romney pores over his own hand-written notes as readies for his appearance against incumbent President Barack Obama.  Romney smiles as he reads his notes, brimming with confidence, and states “Oh, I’m ready for this.  It’s on.”  And this is concerning to Team…

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Justin Bieber Stage Show Angers Mothers Concerned with Bulimia

October 1, 2012
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Justin Bieber Stage Show Angers Mothers Concerned with Bulimia

GLENDALE, AZ – (TheBadgerCA) – Justin Bieber’s most recent performance in Glandale, Arizona’s Jobing.com Arena elicited the usual screams and support from his fans despite having to fight through two bouts of nausea that forced him to pause the show.  Following his on-stage sickness where Bieber vomited during songs, he returned to his adoring fans,…

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