Posts Tagged ‘ Conservative Party of Canada ’

Harper Selects Middle-Class Family to Sacrifice to Lucifer in Advance of Election Night

October 19, 2015
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Harper Selects Middle-Class Family to Sacrifice to Lucifer in Advance of Election Night

ABBOTSFORD, BRITISH COLUMBIA (TheBadgerCA) – The Emersons were delighted to discover today that they had been selected above thousands of middle-class families to be sacrificed by Stephen Harper to the Underworld Lord Satan in advance of Canada’s 42nd federal election. Brett Emerson, a 43-year old project manager and father of six, could barely contain his…

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Local Gays Very Interested in Ousted-Conservative’s Candidate Cure for Gayness

October 7, 2015
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Local Gays Very Interested in Ousted-Conservative’s Candidate Cure for Gayness

MISSISSAUGA, ON (TheBadgerCA) – The day began in disappointment for local homosexual Brian Laylee, a 24-year old barista, when he heard that Jagdish Grewal was dispatched from Conservative Party of Canada’s Mississauga riding following comments that he believed there were cures for homosexuality. Laylee  stated, “Just when you think there’s a cure for something wrong…

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“Canadians Should Not Fear CSIS” says Harper to Canadians Bundled Into the Trunks of Cars

September 11, 2015
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“Canadians Should Not Fear CSIS” says Harper to Canadians Bundled Into the Trunks of Cars

VICTORIAVILLE, QUE (TheBadgerCA) – While campaigning in Quebec today, Prime Minister Stephen Harper had some comforting words for Canadians today. On the back of his pledge to fund $10 million to research terrorism and the creation of radicalization both domestically and abroad, Harper comforted Canadians concerned about CSIS having their authority expanded without any consequence…

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Chris Alexander Blames Media for Reporting on His Failure as a Human Being

September 3, 2015
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Chris Alexander Blames Media for Reporting on His Failure as a Human Being

OTTAWA, CANADA (TheBadgerCA) - Immigration minister Chris Alexander has lashed out at the media today, blaming them for his complete inability to do his job properly and behave in a humane manner. In a statement released this morning, Alexander criticized all media outlets for not focusing on the crisis in Syria and instead focusing on his…

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