Posts Tagged ‘ #elxn42 ’

Justin Trudeau Wakes Up Today as New Prime Minister, Dreamed of Ten New Things to Tax

October 20, 2015
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Justin Trudeau Wakes Up Today as New Prime Minister, Dreamed of Ten New Things to Tax

MONTREAL, QUEBEC (TheBadgerCA) – Today ushered in a new era in Canadian politics as Justin Trudeau’s Liberal party swept aside Stephen Harper’s Conservative party, taking seats from normally strong Conservative and NDP strongholds. Following his acceptance speech as the leader of Canada last night, Trudeau and his family were rewarded with a well-deserved sleep, his…

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Harper Selects Middle-Class Family to Sacrifice to Lucifer in Advance of Election Night

October 19, 2015
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Harper Selects Middle-Class Family to Sacrifice to Lucifer in Advance of Election Night

ABBOTSFORD, BRITISH COLUMBIA (TheBadgerCA) – The Emersons were delighted to discover today that they had been selected above thousands of middle-class families to be sacrificed by Stephen Harper to the Underworld Lord Satan in advance of Canada’s 42nd federal election. Brett Emerson, a 43-year old project manager and father of six, could barely contain his…

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Conservative Party Drafting Official List of Excuses for Why Harper Can’t Attend Ford Function

October 14, 2015
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Conservative Party Drafting Official List of Excuses for Why Harper Can’t Attend Ford Function

TORONTO, CANADA (TheBadgerCA) – Julien Code, campaign intern for the Harper campaign, dropped everything he had on his plate today when Harper’s campaign top brass demanded a list of excuses that Harper could use to get out of the rally that Rob and Doug Ford are planning Saturday. Following the inclusion of the Ford brothers…

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Local Gays Very Interested in Ousted-Conservative’s Candidate Cure for Gayness

October 7, 2015
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Local Gays Very Interested in Ousted-Conservative’s Candidate Cure for Gayness

MISSISSAUGA, ON (TheBadgerCA) – The day began in disappointment for local homosexual Brian Laylee, a 24-year old barista, when he heard that Jagdish Grewal was dispatched from Conservative Party of Canada’s Mississauga riding following comments that he believed there were cures for homosexuality. Laylee  stated, “Just when you think there’s a cure for something wrong…

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Area Anglophone Happy French Debate Had Nothing To Do With Him

September 25, 2015
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Area Anglophone Happy French Debate Had Nothing To Do With Him

SCARBOROUGH, ONTARIO (TheBadgerCA) – In the wake of last night’s French-language leader’s debate, Danny Illins, 34, was relieved to know that he did not have to follow a single word of it, since it was in French. Illins, a produce manager for a local grocery chain, was prepared to devote time in his busy schedule…

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