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Trump’s Penis: “Please Don’t Drag Me Into This”

March 4, 2016
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Trump’s Penis: “Please Don’t Drag Me Into This”

DETROIT, MICHIGAN (TheBadgerCA) – Following the GOP debate Thursday, a spokesperson for Donald Trump’s penis has stepped forward, releasing a statement that the penis does not wish to be part of the media circus that is following the Trump campaign and the Republican National Convention as a whole. Linda Disset, representing Trump’s member, read the…

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Conservative Syrian Refugee Not Looking Forward to Meeting “Pair of Liberal Spend-Monkeys”

December 10, 2015
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Conservative Syrian Refugee Not Looking Forward to Meeting “Pair of Liberal Spend-Monkeys”

TORONTO, CANADA (TheBadgerCA) – Upon hearing the news that both Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and Ontario Premier Kathleen Wynne would be present to welcome the first wave of refugees into Canada, Syrian Muhammed Al-Muhar shook his head. “I was afraid that this would happen.” Al-Muhar…

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US Congress “Totally Promise to Implement Gun Control After Next Mass Shooting”

December 2, 2015
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US Congress “Totally Promise to Implement Gun Control After Next Mass Shooting”

SAN BERNADINO, CALIFORNIA (TheBadgerCA) – In the wake of the latest mass shooting in the US, 352 this year, the US Congress have decreed that they will move into action. The San Bernardino shooting today that has left at least 14 dead and 14 injured…

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Just To Be Safe, University of Ottawa Bans Yoga, Chai Tea, Indian Food and “Most Brown-People Things”

November 23, 2015
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Just To Be Safe, University of Ottawa Bans Yoga, Chai Tea, Indian Food and “Most Brown-People Things”

OTTAWA, CANADA (TheBadgerCA) – In the wake of its recent cancellation of free yoga classes due to “concerns of cultural appropriation”, the University of Ottawa student union is not taking…

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France to ISIS: “If You Thought We Were Rude Before This…”

November 16, 2015
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France to ISIS: “If You Thought We Were Rude Before This…”

PARIS, FRANCE (TheBadgerCA) – In a statement released today following the Friday attacks on Paris, French president François Hollande made it clear that any hope of politeness toward the members…

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Starbucks to Recall Muhammad-Themed Coffee Cups for Muslim High Holiday

November 9, 2015
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Starbucks to Recall Muhammad-Themed Coffee Cups for Muslim High Holiday

SEATTLE, WASHINGTON (TheBadgerCA) – Following the wrath that Starbucks received today from Christians regarding their red coffee cups, the coffee chain today announced that they would be not going forward…

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