Posts Tagged ‘ Rob Ford ’

Tell-All Book Has Sociologists Upgrading Rob Ford From “Asshole” to “Fucking Asshole”

October 16, 2015
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Tell-All Book Has Sociologists Upgrading Rob Ford From “Asshole” to “Fucking Asshole”

TORONTO, CANADA (TheBadgerCA) – Upon reading passages from Mark Towhey’s tell-all book documenting his time as chief of staff to Rob Ford when Ford was mayor, leading experts in the sociology world have upgraded Rob Ford’s sociological standing. Daniel Thyckes, chair for the Canadian Sociological Association, was part of the committee responsible for Ford’s upgrade.…

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Conservative Party Drafting Official List of Excuses for Why Harper Can’t Attend Ford Function

October 14, 2015
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Conservative Party Drafting Official List of Excuses for Why Harper Can’t Attend Ford Function

TORONTO, CANADA (TheBadgerCA) – Julien Code, campaign intern for the Harper campaign, dropped everything he had on his plate today when Harper’s campaign top brass demanded a list of excuses that Harper could use to get out of the rally that Rob and Doug Ford are planning Saturday. Following the inclusion of the Ford brothers…

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Cancer Devastated to Discover it has ‘Rob Ford’

October 31, 2014
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Sept 17, 2014 – TORONTO, CANADA (TheBadgerCA) – In a tearful statement today, the fatal disease Cancer revealed that it has, in fact, contracted Stage 3 ‘Rob Ford’. Cancer, who has had a myriad health issues for years, due to it being Cancer, had come to the conclusion that it had contracted Rob Ford after…

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Rob Ford Blames Low Council Attendance on Phone Being on Vibrate

June 13, 2013
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Rob Ford Blames Low Council Attendance on Phone Being on Vibrate

TORONTO, CANADA (TheBadgerCA) – Following today’s statement from Toronto mayor Rob Ford that he was left unaware of an 800 police officer drug raid today on his cable being out last night, Ford today stated that he was absent over the course of several city council meetings due to the fact that he “received no…

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StatsCan Finds Now is a Horrible Time to be a Fat, Rich, White Male Politician

May 28, 2013
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StatsCan Finds Now is a Horrible Time to be a Fat, Rich, White Male Politician

OTTAWA, CANADA (TheBadgerCA) – Statistics Canada released figures today that in today’s current political environment, specifically May of 2013, is the worst time to be a “fat, rich, white male politician”. Martin Coulier, Director of Statistical Analysis for the Ministry, stated that based on some key elements of data, at no other time in Canada’s…

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Local Boob Lies to Several

May 24, 2013
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Local Boob Lies to Several

TORONTO, CANADA (TheBadgerCA) – Armed with a grin that sources are describing as “shit-eating”, local boob, verified liar, convicted possessor of drugs, impaired driver and violent drunk Rob Ford addressed a crowd of reporters to answer to allegations that he had smoked crack. After showing the steel of his convictions and his ability to address…

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Toronto Mayor Ford: “Seriously, What The Hell Do I Have To Do To Get Fired?”

May 17, 2013
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Toronto Mayor Ford: “Seriously, What The Hell Do I Have To Do To Get Fired?”

TORONTO, CANADA (TheBadgerCA) – After a hectic day spent by Toronto’s mayor Rob Ford, Ford reached out to the assembled press in an impromptu press conference at City Hall. Visibly exhausted from a day that included the mayor at a PFLAG flag raising ceremony, it is not the assembled pomp and circumstance of the LGBT…

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Rob Ford Defies Critics of his City Hall Absenteeism, Shows Up for ‘Cake Day’

May 3, 2013
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Rob Ford Defies Critics of his City Hall Absenteeism, Shows Up for ‘Cake Day’

TORONTO, ON (TheBadgerCA) – There have been many critics of Toronto mayor Rob Ford and his attendance record at City Hall. Some estimations have the mayor only at city hall at most 50% of the time with some stipulating the mayor actually maintains a 70% absenteeism rate during the work week. These critics were silenced…

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Doug Ford Eyes Provincial Position Having Run Out of People to Bully in Toronto

April 3, 2013
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Doug Ford Eyes Provincial Position Having Run Out of People to Bully in Toronto

TORONTO, CANADA (TheBadgerCA) – Toronto councilor and brother to the mayor Doug Ford announced today that were an election called today, he would run for the provincial Conservative leadership. The Ford brothers, no strangers to controversy but very distant from political process, have made their mark on the Ontario capital and Ford feels he has…

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Toronto Mayor’s Wife Renata Ford Quietly Bakes Cookies

March 26, 2013
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TORONTO, ON (TheBadgerCA) – On the face of it, it appears to be a normal day in the Ford house. As allegations abound regarding Toronto mayor Rob Ford’s alleged ejection from the Garrison Ball fundraising gala, Renata Ford, wife of the mayor, sits quietly in her well-appointed kitchen in her Etobicoke home as the aromas…

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