Posts Tagged ‘ Toronto ’

Tell-All Book Has Sociologists Upgrading Rob Ford From “Asshole” to “Fucking Asshole”

October 16, 2015
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Tell-All Book Has Sociologists Upgrading Rob Ford From “Asshole” to “Fucking Asshole”

TORONTO, CANADA (TheBadgerCA) – Upon reading passages from Mark Towhey’s tell-all book documenting his time as chief of staff to Rob Ford when Ford was mayor, leading experts in the sociology world have upgraded Rob Ford’s sociological standing. Daniel Thyckes, chair for the Canadian Sociological Association, was part of the committee responsible for Ford’s upgrade.…

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Mother of Baby Sprayed with Beer at Blue Jays Game Becomes Icon for Garbage Parents Everywhere

October 15, 2015
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Mother of Baby Sprayed with Beer at Blue Jays Game Becomes Icon for Garbage Parents Everywhere

TORONTO, CANADA (TheBadgerCA) – Heather Dupree today had no idea that the decision to bring her baby to a hotly contested baseball game would make her an icon for bad parenting decisions around the world. Dupree, a stay-at-home mother, brought her newborn daughter Amber to the game without hearing protection in order to prove her…

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Doug Ford Calling Debate a “Holocaust” Not Going Over Well With Some

October 31, 2014
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Doug Ford Calling Debate a “Holocaust” Not Going Over Well With Some

Oct 5, 2014 – TORONTO, CANADA (TheBadgerCA) – At a mayoral debate in Toronto on Sunday, many are seeking clarification from Doug Ford where he described the debate as an “utter holocaust”. The debate sponsored by the Centre for Israel and Jewish Afairs and the UJA Federation of Greater Toronto had many of Toronto’s Jewish…

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Cancer Devastated to Discover it has ‘Rob Ford’

October 31, 2014
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Sept 17, 2014 – TORONTO, CANADA (TheBadgerCA) – In a tearful statement today, the fatal disease Cancer revealed that it has, in fact, contracted Stage 3 ‘Rob Ford’. Cancer, who has had a myriad health issues for years, due to it being Cancer, had come to the conclusion that it had contracted Rob Ford after…

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UN Classifies Most-To-All Food Served at The Ex in Contravention of the Geneva Convention

August 27, 2013
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UN Classifies Most-To-All Food Served at The Ex in Contravention of the Geneva Convention

NEW YORK, NY (TheBadgerCA) – The United Nations is condemning Canada for what it calls “a devastating attack on its own people” with casualties numbering in the hundreds following what some are calling “biological warfare” in contravention of the Geneva Convention which bans the use of chemical and biological weapons. Deputy Secretary-General Jan Eliasson was…

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Const. James Forcillo Welcomes New Career as Alcoholic Private Eye

August 19, 2013
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Const. James Forcillo Welcomes New Career as Alcoholic Private Eye

TORONTO, CANADA (TheBadgerCA) – With today’s decision by Toronto’s SIU to charge Constable James Forcillo with second-degree murder in the shooting of Sammy Yatim, focus on Forcillo was intense. The six-year veteran is charged with shooting of 18-year old Yatim on an empty Toronto streetcar. Even with the pending court case, Forcillo remained upbeat. “Obviously…

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Calgary Flood Victim Returning To His Home Hopes Toronto Cousin Survived 12 Minute Blackout

June 25, 2013
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Calgary Flood Victim Returning To His Home Hopes Toronto Cousin Survived 12 Minute Blackout

OGDEN, ALBERTA (TheBadgerCA) – As Charles Lipping, 34 received word that he and his family could re-enter his home, he and his family who had been uprooted due to torrential flooding that caused thousands of dollars damage to his and other surrounding homes. As he surveyed the damage and attempted to gather his family’s now…

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StatsCan Finds Now is a Horrible Time to be a Fat, Rich, White Male Politician

May 28, 2013
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StatsCan Finds Now is a Horrible Time to be a Fat, Rich, White Male Politician

OTTAWA, CANADA (TheBadgerCA) – Statistics Canada released figures today that in today’s current political environment, specifically May of 2013, is the worst time to be a “fat, rich, white male politician”. Martin Coulier, Director of Statistical Analysis for the Ministry, stated that based on some key elements of data, at no other time in Canada’s…

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Local Boob Lies to Several

May 24, 2013
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Local Boob Lies to Several

TORONTO, CANADA (TheBadgerCA) – Armed with a grin that sources are describing as “shit-eating”, local boob, verified liar, convicted possessor of drugs, impaired driver and violent drunk Rob Ford addressed a crowd of reporters to answer to allegations that he had smoked crack. After showing the steel of his convictions and his ability to address…

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Toronto Mayor Ford: “Seriously, What The Hell Do I Have To Do To Get Fired?”

May 17, 2013
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Toronto Mayor Ford: “Seriously, What The Hell Do I Have To Do To Get Fired?”

TORONTO, CANADA (TheBadgerCA) – After a hectic day spent by Toronto’s mayor Rob Ford, Ford reached out to the assembled press in an impromptu press conference at City Hall. Visibly exhausted from a day that included the mayor at a PFLAG flag raising ceremony, it is not the assembled pomp and circumstance of the LGBT…

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